Living on the sidelines too long

I had this epiphany the other day. (Well, OK, maybe it doesn't quite qualify as an epiphany, but I like the word, so I'm going to use it.) So I had this epiphany the other day, that for too long, I've been "living on the sidelines," observing, but not fully participating in my own life. This is due, in part, to having suffered what has felt like more than my fair share of heartbreak, in addition to the chronic physical pain which has been a constant companion since my auto accident 14 months ago. The combination of the two has changed me. I have observed, on more than one occasion, "I'm not as fun as I used to be." And that translates to "I don't have as much fun as I used to." But that doesn't have to be the case, does it? No, I can start to make choices that will be more, well, fun.

Today, for instance, there was a point at which I had a choice to make. I had gotten up early (for a Saturday) to celebrate JN's bday with the girlz, starting with brunch, progressing to pedicures and then moving on to a chick-flick matinee. I went directly from the theater to EA's graduation celebration. Sometime between the pedicures and the chick-flick, I had gotten a text message from AW, inviting me to celebrate her graduation later that evening. Having arrived at EA's party late, I wanted to stay long enough to get in some good "hang" time, as opposed to just an obligatory "drop-in." So, by the time it felt like I'd had a good visit and it was time to move on, it was time for me to get over to AW's party and I was definitely feeling the lack of sleep from the night before. I was really tempted to go home, thinking to myself, "I really should change into jeans anyway, and maybe take a little nap."
I had a choice to make:
1. Go home and take a nap (knowing that I very likely would not make it to AW's grad party if I did) or
2. Go directly from EA's party to AW's party, dressed as I was and tired as I was, but at least GO, make an appearance, show up and let her know that I care, acknowledge her accomplishment, congratulate her. And I thought to myself, "Stop living on the sidelines. Go to the party. You won't regret it. You'll only regret it if you don't go." And you know what? I was right.

I think Dad would've approved.

OK, I'm really tired now--I've got to get some sleep.