endometriosis

en·do·me·tri·osis (noun): the presence and growth of functioning endometrial tissue in places other than the uterus, often resulting in severe pain and infertility.

As it grows, as its territory expands, I find the familiarity of the pain strangely comforting. Trouble is, the pain will, most likely, get a lot worse. And, although I am trying alternative methods, surgery seems inevitable. It doesn't scare me--not the surgery itself. Been there, done that, lived to tell about it. (If only it were that simple to get rid of my headaches, I'd gladly go under the knife again.) No, my fear is the time lost. I can't afford the loss of time even more than I can't afford the financial burden. I've already lost over a month of my life thanks to the evil landlady. I'm way behind in my work and I've barely begun to unpack and settle in to my new home. What I definitely do NOT need right now is to be laid up for 2-3 weeks, unable to work or do anything useful.

I was thinking, the other day, about the past several months. It's been one thing after another knocking me off balance, and just when I'm starting to get back up and regain my footing, WHAM! along comes something else. It's like when you're a little kid, playing in the ocean, and you get out a little bit too far, and as you're trying to get back to shore, a wave knocks you down. As you get your head above water, maybe even get back on your feet, another wave comes along and knocks you back down, and then another and another. That's how I feel.