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Timely Manor

Welcome to my virtual salon. Please, come in and do stay awhile.

The Contessa's dream:

...And someday, I shall have a grand mansion where we all can meet, and I will call it "Timely Manor."

Timely: occurring at a suitable or opportune time; well-timed

Manor: the main house on an estate; a mansion

Monday, July 31, 2006

Waiting to exhale

So I was sitting here, reading an old post about my last love, when my phone rang. I was somewhat startled because it was after 11:00 pm. I grabbed the phone, thinking it might be my brother, to whom I'd just sent an email. He had spent Saturday afternoon with the aforementioned "ex" and I was anxious to hear about it. Having not spoken to the "ex" in nearly a year, I am curious to hear what my brother has to report. Well, fortunately, I looked at the caller I.D. before answering the phone and was shocked to see the name of the aforementioned "ex" on the display screen. For a split second I considered answering the call, but sanity took over and I put the phone down, and, practically holding my breath, I waited... waited for it to stop ringing... waited for the message indicator to tell me he'd left a voice mail message. And then... nothing. He hadn't left a message. I was half relieved, half disappointed. And then I came to my senses, breathed deeply and thanked the Lord for letting me off the hook once more. The last thing I need is to hear his voice again. I've still not gotten him completely out of my system, despite serious efforts to do so. And so I continue to try.

On a lighter note, I got an email today from "Fred Astaire," the dancer I met last December. Perhaps he'll sweep me off my feet and flush the "ex" from my system once and for all. Yes, that would be nice.

And with that, I bid you buona notte.

Friday, July 28, 2006

I Heart Trivia, Part I

IN CASE YOU ARE EVER ON A QUIZ SHOW

1. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

2. A snail can sleep for three years.

3. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

4. Butterflies taste with their feet.

5. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
(I always knew cats were superior to dogs.)

6. February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

7. If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

8. In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

9. Leonardo DiVinci invented the scissors.

10. No word in the English language rhymes with month.

11. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

12. Shakespeare invented the words 'assassination' and 'bump.'

13. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand, lollipop with your right.
(Unless you type the way I do.)

14. The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
(And I thought SUV's were bad!)

15. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

16. The words 'racecar' and 'kayak' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.

17. "Typewriter" is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

18. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

19. If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at a red light.
(Seems like an awful waste of time, doesn't it?)

20. In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch face is 10:10.

21. The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

22. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

23. There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables.

24. There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: abstemious and facetious.

25. There is a word in the English language with only one vowel, which occurs five times: indivisibility.

26. The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts.
(Really?? I'm gonna have to check that one out.)

27. Did you know that crocodiles never outgrow the pool in which they live?
That means that if you put a baby croc in an aquarium, it would be little for the rest of its life.

28. A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle; a group of geese in the air is a skein

29. A jiffy is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

30. Pinocchio is Italian for pine eye.

31. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet.
(But you already knew that, didn't you?)

32. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating is uncopyrightable.

33. Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts.
(Who knew?)

34. It's impossible to lick your elbow.

35. On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.

36. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

37. Rats and horses can't vomit.

38. The sixth sick sheiks sixth sheeps sick is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language...try it!

39. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
(Yecch!)

40. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

41. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

42. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
(Hmm, makes you think twice about internet dating, doesn't it?)

43. A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.
(Weird.)

44. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

45. In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.
(Eww!)

46. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

47. Cat's urine glows under a black light.

48. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.



Okay, honestly, did you try to lick your elbow?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Perhaps I was wrong.

My phone rang ~12:30 today. The voice on the other end started in, rather abruptly, with, "I thought you said you go to the 11am."
It was obvious who it was--the individual formerly known as "mystery man." I replied, "I said that I _sometimes_ go to the 11am. I woke up with a sore throat this morning, so I stayed home." He actually seemed a bit disappointed that I hadn't been at the morning gathering. Perhaps I had read him incorrectly. Maybe I wasn't "crossed off the list" after all. Who knows? I still think he has a bit of growing up to do, though. It's not about age, it's about maturity. Anyway, we talked for a few minutes more and then he closed with, "Will I see you next Sunday?" which I took to mean that he'd like to. Meanwhile, Camille tells me that the CL men we met last Sunday are in town again today. Funny that _she_ was contacted, though, and not I. C'est la vie. "Plenty of fish..." they say.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Bonfires & Stories

Imagine our tribe around a fire on a dark night and ask yourself:
do stories matter?

-- David Guterson
Author of Snow Falling on Cedars and co-founder of Field’s End,
a writers’ community.